This post is a follow-up to my previous post about making good first impressions. I’ve been on several more dates since and have a few more things to add to my previous list. Here goes (and again, not in any particular order):
- Don’t mention money at the first meeting, ever! I went on a date with this guy who sounded great on paper — Caring, smart, tall, etc. I was more than excited to meet him, but it quickly became apparent to me that he was very hung up on money. Of all the topics we discussed, 75% of them centered around money: How do you spend your money? How much do you want for retirement? How much is it to raise a family of four? He even went into details on the math. Luckily, I am well-versed in money management/investment, so I was able to keep up with him on the topics. BUT, I was still very turned-off, especially for the first meeting! Our conversation gave me the impression that money is the only subject that matters to him. Who would want to spend the rest of her life with somebody like that?
- Remember, first date = good first impression. First date is about first impression. I put effort into looking nice when I meet somebody intentionally for the first time. I expect as much from the other party…not that they need to look the best, but that they put forth the effort to make a good first impression. Now imagine meeting your date for the first time, and he has body odor! I mean, if that’s supposed to be a good impression, imagine what kind of guy he is when he’s not putting in the effort at all! No thanks!
- Don’t act like a bachelor. There are many reasons why people remain single, but the last impression you want to leave a date you’ve just met is that you like your bachelorhood. In other words, don’t talk about how you enjoy closing down the bars on the weekends, or how you like to frequent strip clubs. The first thought that crosses my mind is: If you are so content being a bachelor, why are you dating?
- Do be yourself. I recently met this guy who was trying so hard to impress upon me that he’s just like me. I know we all like people who are similar to us, but it’s kinda creepy when a guy you barely know tries to act and think like you. Besides, that kind of behavior screams, “I have no backbone”, and that’s probably the LEAST attractive quality you can present to a date! Instead, be yourself and if you want to impress your date, be attentive and open to what she has to say. It’s perfectly fine to agree to disagree!
- Don’t brag about how little you work. No matter how hard we try to deny it, sexism exists. Just like most men prefer more feminine partners, most women prefer manly man. Before I get any grief about my generalization, I just want to note that there are exceptions. But in general, part of what makes a man “manly” is his drive, particular in his career. It is SO NOT ATTRACTIVE to tell a date you’ve just met that you pride yourself in working as little as possible! If you really aren’t ambitious but instead prefer to be a bum, don’t mention anything at all!
Update: If you are looking for what women want in their men, check out my latest post on the subject: What Women Want.